Chapter 1. Lore

"are we close? " asked khushi while she gazed outside the window of the SUV. The road, and the trees seemed endless. The car was moving and yet it felt as if it was going nowhere. The winding road through the thick forest now seemed like an infinite loop to her.
" Gopal…?" she asked again,  still looking outside.
There was no answer. There was only silence.
With her eyes still transfixed at the passing trees she reached out with her left hand for Harshita who was sitting right next to her. She felt Harshita's hand. It was cold wet and sticky. A chill ran down khushis spine.
"Harshu...? " she called out. An intense urge of not looking inside flooded over her.  For some reason khushi was scared to look inside. She drew her hand back. She knew what the sticky fluid was. She was a doctor. She recognized it almost immediately. The car kept moving. And apart from the humming engine,  all was silent. Every instinct she had,  screamed to not look inside. But finally,  she gathered all her courage and looked.

Harshita sat next to her looking straight ahead. She was covered in blood. Her eyes were missing and she had a hideous smile on her face. Next to Harshita on the far end of the seat was Aman. At least what was left of him. If it was not for his yellow T-shirt,  khushi wouldn't have recognized him without his head. Gopals wrists held the steering wheel tightly,  but that was all that was left of him. Josie who sat in the passenger seat remained seated with an axe dug deep into his head with streams of blood running down his face. Khushi froze with terror.  She let out a scream...  And that was when the pain hit her. She felt weak as she looked at her own belly. There was a dagger stuck deep in it. Tears streamed down her face as she such her eyes tight.
"Nooooooo" she yelled as her last breath escaped through her lungs.

"and that's all that is known of that story" said Angelo staring deep into the flames of the campfire. " you see Geeta,  this forest is haunted... All the stories say so... "
" well I don't believe in ghosts" said Geeta " The only evil that I know of is corrupt politicians and criminals... And why would a ghost kill with an axe or a dagger!? …"
" Because it's a ghost,  it does what it likes... " said Angelo crossly " besides, we are reporters,  we should be open to all sorts of information."
" There is a difference between information and misinformation Angie. A reporter should know that! " said Geeta.
" what do you think new guy? " asked Angelo completely ignoring Geetas statement.
" well,  where I come from,  people do believe in ghosts and demons but they also believe that good always defeats evil." said the new guy as he adjusted his glasses.
" I'm stuck with a bunch of morons" said Geeta with a sigh as she got up to leave.
"wait" said the new guy.  "should you be going alone?"
" yes" said Geeta annoyed. " I prefer to go to the bathroom alone."
"sorry... " said the new guy as Angelo burst out into laughter.
" hey new guy,  why don't you tell me a scary story till she comes back... " said Angelo as he reached for a marshmallow.
" It's dangerous for her to go into the dark alone" said the new guy with a grim expression on his face.
" she is a black belt is some martial art bro" said Angelo casually. " Im actually worried for the ghost if  it shows up! "
" I'm serious angelo" said the new guy. " This place...  It doesn't seem right. "
" more than fifteen mysterious deaths in this forest.  Fifteen on record that is. This place is sure as hell not right!  But hey,  she reported from wars...  I guess. Bathroom run in a forest won't really harm her. " said Angelo.
" hmm I hope not." said the new guy as he gazed in the direction that Geeta had gone.
" well stop worrying." said Angelo. " now, about that story.  You got a good one? "
" as a matter of fact I do." said the new guy.
"so what are you waiting for? " asked Angelo with a smile. "tell me! "
" long ago there was a temple in this very forest. A cult temple that belonged to the God of demons. The high priest was a powerful necromancer who made a deal with the God of demons that if he consumed human flesh and drank human blood, the God would grant him immortality. The God agreed and made the necromancer a demonic creature with long dark hair and teeth and fangs like nails. The  necromancer then began hunting people from the nearby villages. The fear grew so much that the villagers prayed for a saviour. And then one day a hermit came along and decided to help the villagers.  The hermit searched the entire forest until he found the necromancer. After a bloody fight,  the hermit finally defeated the necromancer and turned him to a stone statue. " said the new guy as he munched on some marshmallows.
" interesting... " said Angelo
" the fight had worn the hermit down and he could only muster the magic to bind the necromancer for a hundred years." said the new guy.
"that sucks..." said Angelo. "continue…"
" that was a hundred and one years ago." said the new guy.
" oh,  so you mean the necromancer is back?  And those people,  he killed those people? " asked Angelo.
" yes! " said the new guy. " I have been researching it.  And frankly that's why I agreed to come here with you guys. To see if it was all true"
" and you call yourself reporters! " said Geeta as she emerged from behind a tree.
"woah. You scared me there! " said Angelo
" No you guys are scaring yourselves! " said Geeta. " I've heard those stories too and I don't believe one bit of them"
"you should Geeta ji" said the new guy. "If God exists, so do demons! "
"And what makes you think I believe in God? " asked Geeta with a smile. "Get some sleep guys,  we have a long trek tomorrow if we are to reach the latest crime scene in time"
"Isnt she is more bossy that she appears to be?" asked Angelo with a frown.
"Get some sleep" said the new guy. "I'll be on guard. I'll wake you up when I'm sleepy. "
" very well then" said Angelo as he stood up. " I hope that necromancer doesn't show up. And if he does,  do me a favour and run slower than me will you? "
" don't worry,  he won't get you on my guard! " said the new guy with a smile.
" before I go to sleep though,  I'm curious...  What was the name of this demonic necromancer?  Asked  Angelo.
" I don't know for sure,  but the people called him...  Something that starts with a k...  I can't quite remember... "said the new guy adjusting his glasses.
" was Ekta Kapoor the villager that named him!? " asked Angelo bursting into laughter.

"sleep angelo" shouted Geeta from her tent. " and you,  stay close to the tents and don't sleep before waking one of us up... You got that... Ugh.. What's your name again? "
" Gangadhar, Geetaji...  Gangadhar mayadhar vidhyadhar Omkarnath shastri. "
" I'm stuck with morons" sighed Geeta as she drifted off to sleep.

……….

Epilogue:

The foul stench of death filled the ruins of the temple as J.J. stood before the hulking demon creature.
" I sense a powerful presence in the forest. " he said.
The creature growled in acknowledgement.
" Could the Suryavanshi really be here? " J. J. Whispered to himself.
The creature growled again.
" it does not matter former priest,  as the new priest I assure you that you have all my power at your disposal. As far fetched as it seems,  even if the Suryavanshi is here,  you shall easily defeat him. Only two sacrifices left and you shall be completely immortal and command my army in the name of the tamraj."
The creature turned and began to leave.
" may the powers of evil guide you former priest." said J. J. " the world shall bow down to the tamraj and I Will be the king of the human realm. Along with my trusted commander,  you...  The ruthless kapala."

…………………..

This is specifically for you!

Hi,  has this ever happened to you?  You are sitting with a group of friends and there is total silence. The people sitting around you seem fixated on something and too dislocated from the environment around them to indulge in human interaction. Their face is illuminated and their mind is lost due to this device they hold in their hand called the mobile phone. Has that happened?  Is it happening right now as you read? Put down that phone and talk to the person nearby moron.

See you next time!

Why I play old games!

Hi, This is a short clarification on why I am a retro gamer. Why clarify?  Well why not?  So if you want to know why I'm a retro gamer,  read on. ( If not,  I'm glad you have better things to do... Congratulations on that.)

So yeah in order to understand why I...  Or for that matter why any one loves retro gaming, one needs to understand what retro games represent. History.  That's what they represent. See every art form has a history that is celebrated by studying it and there are only few art forms whose history you can celebrate by experiencing it first hand. Like for example, I could listen to old songs but maybe wouldn't get to see the musicians perform live in all their glory.  I could watch an old movie but maybe not in a drive in or a vintage movie theatre but with games,  owing to their recent birth,  I can experience them as they were meant to even in this modern era! Why?  Because I and others like me have preserved that history in a functional form. You could still find a zx spectrum or a coleco vision or a Famicom and hook it up and play it as people used to way back in history and that amuses me to a very large extent. It's like visiting Jurassic Park.

Another reason is the representation of an idea within the confines of limited resources. I respect the fact that the limit of just 8 bits did not stop the creators in telling a grand interactive story. This is evidence to the fact that an artist is not limited to his tools when it comes to expression. A retro game is a testament of human imagination and his willful suspension of disbelief.

Some people say that gaming is an activity children indulge in and they aren't completely wrong... Because gaming does being out the child in you. The pure joy after defeating a tough boss,  the frustration of a difficult level and the bliss of a completed game's ending are not logical and yet affect you deeply. And so as an end note,  I'd just like to say I'm a retro gamer because I have the wonderful and rare opportunity to be one! 

I hope you understand now...  And If you don't,  sorry...  Your princess is in another castle!

We might be in the matrix.

Hi,  so... To begin with,  I'm inspired to write after a year long break because of two things. First a friend just started doing a blog (Dr. Rajesh Khade.  Seek him out on facebook... He has good stuff to talk about),  reminding me I had started one centuries ago too which I had blissfully ignored. Second,  I got thinking and making a YouTube video about what I was thinking would be tedious. So here's what I have been thinking about.

You have seen the matrix right?  Sure you have. Remember all that stuff about simulated reality and those blue and red pills?  Well I watched a YouTube video about that and got to thinking about our perception of reality and what not. You see the movie speaks of a simulated reality that people perceive as the real world and how they remain oblivious to the... Ahem.. Real reality. It seems fantastical at first,  the entire premise. But as you go on watching,  it kind of makes sense and starts feeling logical. I mean the day and age that we live in, technology  could easily allow something of that sort to happen if we take cue from all those multi-player games and virtual reality doohikeys. But my concern is weather its already happening... Now now, don't think I'm paranoid or anything, I've got a good theory to explain it. You see, Facebook is the modern world matrix. And here's how I came to that conclusion. Some years ago,  a bunch of us volunteered to participate in this 'virtual community' out of curiosity and outright necessity of socialization. It began innocent. Simple even. Make a profile,  find your friends,  make new friends and connect with all those people.  Eventually we could share information in terms of literature, pictures and later on videos and audios all in the name of social interaction. We also felt heard owing to the likes and even shares that people made to our posts. Pretty soon communities and groups were formed and pages dedicated to ideals, idols and culture became abundant.  They said it helped us reach like-minded people and increase our circle of 'friends'. And thus, the purpose of facebook was served.
Today,  most of the world is on facebook.  All kinds of people. With all kinds of hopes,  dreams,  philosophies and thoughts. Facebook is where people go to say things and to hear what others have to say. But here lies the problem...for some people,  Facebook has become THE place to say things and hear what others have to say (me included). This has made likes and shares way more important than they have to be as important as real life reactions from real people. But is there a comparison?  If I get many likes on a post of mine...  Has everyone who has liked the post really liked the post? That's a philosophical question open to debate but I'd say no...  I don't believe everyone tfuely liked that post. Some were just being polite I guess others might be following common courtesy. Now if I know this,  why do I still yearn for likes? Why do you still yearn for likes? Because even if we agree we know the fact,  we don't truly believe the fact! Maybe we like the fact that many people agree to our thought and the glory of it makes our judgement cloudy. In other words,  we choose to be in an illusion of grandeur. Then there's the part about analyzing the state of the world through facebook. We as humans love to love and hate passionately. We realise that every post on facebook is biased owing to the fact that it is a statement made by a human and yet,  we see it as the reality of the state of the world. Why do we do this?  The same reason we watch a TV series. We love all the drama. This would all be OK if we could identify the line where facebook ends and real life begins...  But unfortunately,  the line has disappeared.  For some the virtual,  biased anarchist world of facebook is entangled with the mellower, more relaxed and orderly real world. For these people reality is something else. Now we can't escape this virtual world. We don't want to. Because the real world is mundane. But it is real. It is the truth.  And so I have to ask...

Do you choose the red pill...  Or do you choose the blue pill.

Why 'Stairway to heaven' is a stupid song.

Yes. I want there. Now forget that I’m a musician for a while. Forget that I’m a writer of little to none fame too. You cannot deny the fact that I am an educated human with capabilities of data analysis and thought generation… And ofcource ears. So proudly wearing the ‘audience’ cap of honour… Here are 5 reasons why ‘stairway to heaven’ ( the song by Led zeppelin composed by guitarist Jimmy Page and vocalist Robert Plant . Not a literal staircase. You moron) IS LYRICALLY STUPID.

Reason 1. You don’t know what the hell he is talking about.
No. Don’t say you do. You don’t. It’s like you laughing at an inside joke between two best buddies.You just don’t want to look uninformed. (or really need friends. You third wheel.).
Let me give you an example.
There’s a feeling I get,

When I look to the west.

And my spirit is crying for leaving.

In my thoughts I have seen

Rings of smoke through the trees

And the voices of those who stand looking.
Explain that. Take your time. I’ll wait. Ok. Done Googling? Here’s what the lines literally mean. ( and by literally I mean English literally not college idiot literally).

There’s a feeling he gets, when he looks to the west. That makes him want to leave. Let’s analyse this. He is either in the east, North or the south. He could be in the West too and could be looking west(er) standing smack in the middle of the west. You have no idea where he is. You know he wants to leave. You don’t know from where to where. Does he want to leave the west? Does he want to leave from where he is and go to the west? Is the ultimate truth of human life only momentary existance? Jon Snow knows more than you do. And he knows nothing. The lines that follow this mystery quest say,

In his thoughts he has seen Rings of smoke through the trees. And the voices of those who stand looking. First things first. You CANNOT look at voices. You hear voices. The word ‘the’ and the word ‘hear’ both have a single syllable. He could have said hear… But he said the. Let’s analyse that now. He sees rings of smoke through the trees. What is the real world… Or the metaphorical situation when that happens? A monkey smoking a cigar in a fancy way maybe? I’m certain he wasnt going for that. If he even was, it makes as makes as much sense as the rest of the song. So be it. Another explination would be a forest fire. But a forest fire dosnt make smoke rings. ( Unless it is fancily smoking a cigar… But that happens very rarely). So what does the line mean? You don’t know what the line means!!! Start paying attention. And about the next part where he says he can see the voices of the people. I think I’ve made my point about it earlier in this very article.

(pictured above. No rings.)

So to some up. Only the writer of the song knows what he is talking about because he is all messed up in his mind. You, almost sane people can only pretend to understand all that nonsense.
Reason 2. The lady.
The lady who thinks all that glitters is gold is a stupid lady. We all know that. I mean some guy is selling her a stairway to heaven! How stupid do you have to be to fall for that. Oh you’re saying that she thinks she can buy her way to heaven? That’s what those lines are about? Well golly. She thinks everything that glitters is gold. ( the guy from twilight included) so she buys a stairway to heaven. That’s like me thinking all Justin Bieber fans are morons and so getting a new laptop. Face it. It’s stupid. So the transaction is complete and she gets into heaven. There she sees all the stores are closed. WHAT THE WHAT? What stores? What would you sell in heaven? Stairways? Wouldn’t that be pointless considering all their potential customers ARE in heaven?cookies? Do they sell cookies in heaven? Do they pay taxes? What the hell is going on. (Yes irony). But the lady, she knows what she wants. She can get it even if the stores are closed. How? Because she thinks all that glitters is gold… Thats how. Let’s look at the metaphorical meaning. What i can salvage out of that garbage pile of words is that the lady thinks she can buy anything. Six words. Six words hidden in thick layers of shit and garbage ooze.
Immediately after those lines, this intellectual analysis (read, more shit) follows.
There’s a sign on the wall

But she wants to be sure

Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.

In a tree by the brook

There’s a songbird who sings

Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Wow.
There’s a sign on the wall. Which wall? The friggin wall. That’s the wall he’s talking about. The wall. The one with the friggin sign.

(pictured above, A well known and relatable wall for ease of undrstanding)
The aforementioned lady now tries to read the sign. But alas. She dosnt know what it means. Why? because some times words have two meanings. Just like real life. When you walk up to a wall and there’s a sign on the wall that says don’t pee here and you still pee on the wall because maybe they ment something else. Because sometimes words have two meanings. Exactly like that. Also there’s a brook nearby. With a tree by its side. With a songbird in it. Which sings about how sometimes all our thoughts are misgiven. The hypothetical bird in the hypothetical tree besides the hypothetical brook in the hypothetical heaven created by a clearly LSD infused mind, sings one lyrical line. And it makes sense. Got to give credit where it’s due.
Reason 3. Ooh it makes me wonder.
Up untill now, I thought all this was imagination. A disconnected haphazard collection of thoughts trying hard to make sense. But then comes the chorus.

Ooh it makes me wonder.

Yes. That’s it. Wonder what?…. Thats right. Good question. Class dismissed.
Reason 4.
Read this shit.
And it’s whispered that soon

If we all call the tune

The piper will lead us to reason.

And a new day will dawn

For those who stand long

And the forests will echo with laughter.
Ok. It is whispered ( conveyed secretively) that soon,if we ( a certain demographic which we shall call demographic A for the sake of simplicity) all call the tune. The piper will lead us ( demographic A) to reason.

(Thats the piper. pretty harmless, righ?)

Now, the piper… The one from the stories is the one calling the tune. So yeah… Inaccuracies in metaphorical exemplification. Moving on, the piper will lead us ( demographic A) to reason. Clear? Ok. What reason? How the shit am I supposed to know!? I could say it’s suicide, or death or something… But I’d not be sure about it. Because sometimes words have two meanings.
A new day will dawn. Ok. For those who stand long ( let’s call these people demographic B. Considering demographic A has already been led to reason. And as we all know you can either be led or stand long. So yeah demographic B) And the forests will echo with laughter.

WHAT? Why? Why would the forests echo with laughter? Are the forests smoking weed and letting out rings of smoke and giggling because they are high? Yes. Probably.

(It echoes because he laughs on the inside.)
Reason 5.
This is exhausting. It really is. But I’m pushing through. Because i have OCD with a dash of ADHD.
If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow, don’t be alarmed now

It’s just a spring clean for the may queen

Yes there are two paths you can go by but in the long run

There’s still time to change the road you’re on

AND IT MAKES ME WONDER.
Your head is humming and it won’t go. In case you don’t know

The piper’s calling you to join him.

Dear lady can you hear the wind blow and did you know

That your stairway lies in the whispering wind.
WAAAIIIIIIIIIIT A MINUTE!!!! She dosnt have the stairway!? Oh so ‘there’ in the initial lines ment the stairway store!? Which metaphorically means the opportunities to get into heaven…HAPPINESS!? and them being closed means rejection!??? It’s starting to make sense!!!! The whisper! The whisper of sweet release from sadness. That’s where the piper’s taking demographic A!!! Suicide!? Ahem… But ya its all making sense to me now! The staircase is the solution… The one way to happiness…. Yes! Oh yes! Finally!!! I know what it means! And… And the wall with the sign is… Umm…well or the smoke rings… The songbird… It must all mean something… I have to go on….I have to.
And as we wind down on the road…

(Yes yes the piper’s leading us… Go on)

Our shadows taller than our soul

(yeah yeah… The sunset…I get it… Go on..)

There walks a lady we all know….

(yeah the lady… I know the lady… )

Who shines white light and wants to show

How everything still turns to gold

( Yes hope… Belief… Faith… acceptance… This is awesome… Go on! Explain the wall, the trees… The sign.. Teach me master!)

And if you listen very hard

The tune will come to you atleast

( damn right it will master… Go on..)

When all are one and one is all

To be a rock and not to roll.

(….huh?)
WHAT!!!???? What the shit does that mean!????we are all one and one is all!???? So we are all… ALL!???WHAT!??? Spiffinshitbombs… To be a rock and not to roll!? How does that fit anywhere? What is he talking about? Why would a rock roll? A round rock might though. But what is the reference.!? Why is that line there? What is the reason for that line to even exist? Why is this song so damn stupid? What is the meaning of life. Why is there a humming In my head that won’t go? What is the meaning of all this!??? Or are there two meanings!???
Ok. Ok… I have to calm down. My brain is about to explode. I need to think about something simple. Something easy. Something equivalent to bran muffins in terms of lyrics. I know. I know what to do. I can undo the curse of ‘stairway to heaven’. Here goes.
You know you love me

I know you care

Just shout whenever

And I’ll be there

You are my love

You are my heart

And we would never

Ever, EVER be apart.
Are we an item?

Girl, quit playing

We are just friends?

What are you saying?

Say there’s another,

And look right in my eyes.

My first love

Broke my heart for the first time. 😦
Baby baby baby oh

Baby baby baby no

Like baby baby baby oh

I thought you’d always be mine.
Aaaahhhh much much better.

Also, I accept hate in the form of hard cash. Do oblige.

And untill the next time…. Keep looking at the voices of the people.

Comic booking

It was a a rainy day in June. I sat in the cozy confines of my room looking outside through the window. There was no electricity, thus there was no Facebook and  so i was almost completely lost on what i would do the entire day. Then all of the sudden my gaze fell over the small book case that i never used. it was then that i found a magazine i had bought a few weeks ago at the bus stand. I had bought it on pure impulse, or then maybe.....pure nostalgia....

TINKLE.

The never changing smell of the wet soil, the never changing sheet of clouds and the never changing rain brought me and my TINKLE back to a time when everything was same, but i was different. I could feel the awe i felt so long ago, at the intelligence of UNCLE ANU. I remembered how every time i had a question or a doubt, TINKLE TOLD ME WHY. I was surprised to find out that after so many years TANTRI THE MANTRI still couldn't get hold of the crown. It was not just a comic book any more... it was my childhood.

That little unchanged copy of my Favorite comic book brought back the days when mommy was superman and daddy was Einstein... but the epiphany was yet to strike, because i hadn't begun to read it yet. 

As i read through the whole comic book i realized that i had learnt a lot more than i thought i had learnt from comics. When i failed in my T.Y.BArch, i never gave up on architecture. Instead, i became quite good at it. Maybe I was just being 'TANTRI THE MANTRI'. At a certain viva, i was scared as hell to face the professors because I wasn't sure about myself. Later i did face them and turned out to be the topper in Class. Maybe it was the SHIKARI SHAMBHU in me. Each and every character depicted a form of me. That, or vice-a-versa.

Today as i write about comics and more, i welcome a new age of comics in India, as i say farewell to a golden, more innocent age. What keeps me going is, today i am 25 and i still have a comic book in my hand....uh sorry...graphic novel in my hand. Mature, Graphic and intense...maybe ten years from now, on another rainy day, I would be holding a JUMP magazine in my hand and writing this all over again.